I haven't spoken much about my family on here. Mainly because there isn't a lot to say. My parents are both deceased, my Dad in Dec of 1999 and my Mom in Dec of 2000. I do have a sister, but we are not in contact with each other much. She lives in Florida and has a daughter, who is now 15.
The last time I saw my sister and niece was at my wedding in 2001. I have talked to them a few times, but that's about it. I don't have a way to call them, because I don't have their phone number. My sister is way way different than me. She is now 38.
Anyway, last night around 9 or so the phone rings and it's my sister. She's obviously quite drunk. I haven't talked to her in probably 2 years. So she is rambling on and on about how my niece is living wiht her dad and that her dad apparently got mad at her for getting a D on her report card (rightfully so IMO).
The long and short of it, is this. My sister cannot have her daughter living with her because she (sister) has a drug issue. She proposes that I get custody of her daughter.
This is something that I had wished for several years ago, when my niece was younger and hadn't been subjected to the things she has been subjected to. Now? With a newborn?
Sigh. I feel like the world's worst aunt, but I really don't think I want this. Not to mention, is there a court who would give custody to a 15 year old to her aunt who lives nearly 2000 miles away? Especially when there is a father and grandparents who would take her?
Just sounds like trouble to me.
What do you all think??
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10 years ago
5 comments:
I think you already know in your heart and mind what your decision should and will be.
Perhaps we are all just here to confirm what you already know - that your niece will be staying with her father.
There is no need to uproot the girl, especially at the age she is now, and considering the lack of contact you've had. You have your own family to concern yourself with, and as long as your neice is not in any sort of peril by staying with her father, that is where she needs to remain.
I agree that up rooting would be tramatic and as long as she is safe and cared for at her dad's house that might be the best thing, it sounds like your sister just wants her daughter to be with you because that is what she wants, it is not about her.
The safety of the child is the most important thing no matter if she has to be uprooted or not ultimately.
I agree wity Hoping. It sounds like your sister wants to find a way to get her away from the dad, not necessarily put her in a better place.
When my sister was going through some serious medical problems she wanted me to say I would take custody of her daughter. Under normal circumstances, that would have been fine, but her daughter was raised by my sister and as such, undoubtedly hasn't been raised "right." I can't and won't put my child(ren) through that. It's what I worked so hard to get away from.
And no court will take away a child from a bio parent who is doing his job. And right now, there's no proof he isn't.
Don't feel bad. Your job isn't to clean up after your sister.
I am so sorry that this is being thrown at you right now. I hope it all works out.
Take care
Oh, how hard! I am sure it tugs at your heart. At that age I would also vote for not uprooting her if possible. Is the Dad a good father?
I hope you find an answer that gives you peace of mind and her the best chance at life.
Let us know . . .
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