Friday, March 24, 2006

Why is it SIL's are similar?

I was reading Barefoot and... blog the other day and she was talking about her SIL and how she seems to have no tact or regards for her feelings. In reading the comments, there were many SIL's who were similiar. Mine also.

In May of 2002, I had my first (possibly second) miscarriage. Hubby and I told no one about that pregnancy, because we were scared, rightfully so. But we were so happy too. I haven't been truly happy about a pregnancy yet, due to the miscarriage history.

In October, on our first wedding anniversary, we were pregnant again. this time hubby wanted to tell his family, so we did. He called his mom who was ecstatic for us. She then said, you have to call ****, and tell her. When we did, she told us that she, too, was pregnant. Yay for us.

The history goes, yes, that I had another miscarriage. SIL did not and went on to have a beautiful baby daughter in June of 2003. In the meantime, I had 2 more miscarriages (we had told his mom, but no one else).

Christmas Eve of 2003 when our niece was 6 months old, **** says to us "****** and I have news. We're expecting again! We are not sure of the due date or anything, kind of an "oops" baby." My response was "congratulations" and to go into the other room and try my damndest to not bawl. MIL realized I was upset and came in to try to console me (Hubby was there too). SIL said nothing, really.

Of course, we had to act happy at any mention of SIL pregnancy. Why is that? Why is it that those who have IF issues have to always be the ones who are careful of others feelings, not the other way around?

I haven't been blogging much lately because of these issues. I feel badly about those who either are going through their IVF cycles, IUIs, or who have had a loss. It makes it difficult as others have said before me.

From my perspective, I have not completely embraced the fact that I am pregnant. And that I am 12 weeks pregnant.

Have a great weekend all.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

It's a Beautiful Day

Don't let it slip away.

Today I am 11w4d. Had my first OB visit on Thursday, which went swimmingly. I have gained one pound since my last visit there (which was in October). I don't really think I lost weight before transfer, so probably have gained about one pound. Although to look at my waist, you'd think I've gained much more. I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy some maternity clothes soon. Scary, for me anyway.

We got to hear the heartbeat at this visit! I was so scared we wouldn't. The OB said, you are at the borderline, we may or may not hear it. SO when we did, I was quite happy. Scared at the same time, because somehow it makes it all a little more real.

Last weekend the weather was beautiful. Almost 50... which is pretty good for Minnesota in March. Then Monday we got about 8 inches of snow, followed by another 3 or so on Thursday. Brrrr. But today is warming up again. Crazy weather, I'd say!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Bad bad me. I haven't had much to say, or at least much that I could say.

I am 10w4d today. Hard for me to believe. Clothes are starting to be a little tight, so I went to Motherhood Maternity. Just could NOT bring myself to buy a damn thing. First off, I felt like an imposter. Secondly, I am afraid of the jinx. That if I buy *gasp* maternity clothes, I will somehow manage to piss off someone, somewhere and jinx things. Stupid, I know, but hey, who said I was rational here?

We took a few days and are in Duluth this weekend. We've been driving around and viewing the sights. This part of Minnesota is different than the rest in that it is nearly hilly! Very pretty too, I might add. I could come here for vacations in the summer too :) I don't go back to work until Tuesday! Woohoo :)

Not much else to report. I've been slightly nauseated, especially if I don't eat as soon as I feel hungry. Wanting to have sex with hubby, but afraid to. We indulged Thursday morning and that night I had a slight amount of spotting. Not much, but just a tad.

It is really nice to not be on the PIO. I wish I didn't have to take the Lovenox, but I do and so I will. I hate the bruising though :(

I feel so badly for Liana... she lost her baby this past week. I wish there was something I could do, but I know there isn't. I can't even leave a comment (probably because of the internet connection I'm using), but I am thinking of her and wishing her healing.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Nothing much to say

Just thought I'd write a little. There is nothing much new here. Spot has gone away for now, and I'm hoping it stays away. My hubby is out of town for a few days and I sure do miss him :( Especially at night. He's a great snuggler. Natalie, our dog, misses him more than I do, I think. She keeps running to the door to see if he's here. (BLOGGER STILL DOESN"T LET ME USE THE RETURN< WHY???)......................................... I still don't really FEEL pregnant. My OB appointment is the 16th, not sure I can wait that long! I'd like to thank everyone for their support, it has been wonderful.