I was reading Barefoot and... blog the other day and she was talking about her SIL and how she seems to have no tact or regards for her feelings. In reading the comments, there were many SIL's who were similiar. Mine also.
In May of 2002, I had my first (possibly second) miscarriage. Hubby and I told no one about that pregnancy, because we were scared, rightfully so. But we were so happy too. I haven't been truly happy about a pregnancy yet, due to the miscarriage history.
In October, on our first wedding anniversary, we were pregnant again. this time hubby wanted to tell his family, so we did. He called his mom who was ecstatic for us. She then said, you have to call ****, and tell her. When we did, she told us that she, too, was pregnant. Yay for us.
The history goes, yes, that I had another miscarriage. SIL did not and went on to have a beautiful baby daughter in June of 2003. In the meantime, I had 2 more miscarriages (we had told his mom, but no one else).
Christmas Eve of 2003 when our niece was 6 months old, **** says to us "****** and I have news. We're expecting again! We are not sure of the due date or anything, kind of an "oops" baby." My response was "congratulations" and to go into the other room and try my damndest to not bawl. MIL realized I was upset and came in to try to console me (Hubby was there too). SIL said nothing, really.
Of course, we had to act happy at any mention of SIL pregnancy. Why is that? Why is it that those who have IF issues have to always be the ones who are careful of others feelings, not the other way around?
I haven't been blogging much lately because of these issues. I feel badly about those who either are going through their IVF cycles, IUIs, or who have had a loss. It makes it difficult as others have said before me.
From my perspective, I have not completely embraced the fact that I am pregnant. And that I am 12 weeks pregnant.
Have a great weekend all.
Care.com Doesn’t Care at All
10 years ago
8 comments:
Congrats on 12 weeks! SILs must be some kind of cosmic punishment.
Great news that you've made it to 12 weeks!
As for the IFers always having to be careful of others' feelings - I'm getting less interested in that as time goes on. But thankfully, I don't have a SIL. :)
Congrats on the 12 weeks. Don't be afraid to write about this wonderful experience. You deserve this happiness--take it when you can get it, right?
As for the SILs, I know, my friend. It really does seem that they are all the same. Maybe they come from the factory that way.
Sucks to deal with that insensitivity :( Congrats on the 12-week mark!
Wohoo 12 weeks, that is great! Sorry to hear about the SIL. I didn't go through what you did but I didn't really start to get excited about my PG until almost the end, just when I felt better about it I got worried about pre-term delivery!! Too bad we can't just turn off the 'thinking' part of our brains and enjoy. I hope that you feel better about your PG soon it goes by so incredibly fast.
Take care
One of the things that I most regret about my pregnancy is that I let my fear of losing the baby interfere with my enjoyment of being pregnant and my bonding with the baby while s/he was with me. Fear doesn't protect you from the pain of loss if it happens. It just saps you of the joy you could be experiencing by loving your pregnancy self.
Congratulations on 12 weeks! That is just awesome.
Your question "Why is it that those who have IF issues have to always be the ones who are careful of others feelings, not the other way around?" is so true, by the way. I run up against that all the time and it's so hard.
I have an awful SIL too. She does not know we have IF issues for the very reason that she is awful.
Luckily I also have a very kind and supportive SIL which helps makes up for the awful one.
Congrats on 12 weeks!!!
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