Well, so far, so good. No further spotting (knock on wood). I am scared to say that because I fear something bad will happen. Like the gods of pregnancy will be looking and saying, look at that smug bitch, we'll get her. (some credit has to go to Liana, I believe she said similar things). That doesn't change feeling that way, ya know?
NBHHY. I'm just waiting for it.
The other thing is the feeling of what do I do now? I don't feel like I really belong anywhere. As I am pg, I am not currently IF (or am I?). I, however, do not feel really like I belong with those who are pg.
There is also the guilt. Guilt for those who are still trying. It seems so unfair that there are so many wonderful women who are trying so hard, and have not yet achieved a pg that hangs around.
Of course, I still don't feel that this is really real. I don't really have any morning sickness, but do feel a little "blah". I am tired all the time. However, I tend to wake up around 3am then about every hour or half-hour until I get up at 7 or so (weekend) or 6 during the week.
So I'll go back to NBHHY and just hope.
Care.com Doesn’t Care at All
10 years ago
7 comments:
Nothing at all wrong with hoping. NBHHY...it got grrl through, and I know it will you too. Sending you all my best wishes...
Hi Kellie
I know how you feel. I find it so hard to believe that I am actually pregnant and I am so scared something will go wrong. I still feel like I'm part of the IF brigade. When is your U/S?
Ultrasound by RE in 3 weeks. My OB said he'd do one next week if I want. Nah, I think I'll wait... NOT!
You're still apart of the IF brigade, and don't begrudge yourself this happiness.
You deserve it. Enjoy it.
This is the next difficult part. Waiting through the first trimester. I don't have any easy answers for you. It has been tough on my emotions for me.
Now you've got to do it better!
You shouldn't feel guilty. I am an IF and completely happy for you! Anyone who's gone through IF knows what it's like to want a baby! And you belong right here!
Oh yeah! Another woman my age having a successful donor egg cycle! I can guarantee you I'll be checking back and I wish you the best of luck! I hope you can allow yourself to feel a little bit happy... donor IVFers really deserve that, IMO.
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog.
I know that feeling of finding it hard to believe... although I let myself go too far in believing unfortunately... next I'll be more cautious... but hopeful.
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